My Lightsaber Is Bigger Than Yours

6/29/2005

You know, I used to think that some things would never happen to me! And naturally, I was wrong. Headed from physical therapy to my Orthopedic Doctors appointment, I had a funny feeling inside. Turns out I needed to sit on the toilet and handle some business. In a rush and about to be a half hour early for my appointment, I decided to go to Target which was a block away. I tightened up my cheeks and walked fast past the security guard at the door. "Yes! The bathroom!" I thought in my head...it almost felt like I yelled it out to the store.

Hope you can handle this!....."Just my luck!" I had the whole bathroom to myself. We all know how that comfort zone feels. Quickly I unzipped and dropped my pants, of course keeping my balance from touching the seat.....minutes later my stomach felt better.....

The only thing was, as I tried to stand up to wipe... "BaClunk!" I thought I was finished.......wait I was....I quickly looked in the toilet and "Oh Shit!" My cell phone had fallen and floated to the bottom of my breakfast. So believe it or not, I actually ended up sticking my hand in the toilet around my breakfast and retrieved my phone.

I pretty much knew it was a done deal, but I tried to resuscitate my phone for a heartbeat, like a paramedic. I washed up and grabbed some paper towels and wiped the phone. I walked out of the store shaking the water out of it.

As this is happening, along comes an old co-worker with his wife saying "Hi Rich.......Hello Rich!" All in a moment's time of seeing someone you know, somehow I became impaired. I just said "Hey, what's up dude! Let me get your card, I have to go. Take care!" and ended up going to my doctor's appointment.

I sat in the waiting room and all of a sudden, the thought of losing all my friends' and family's numbers from my phone vanished out of my head with this thought........"Did I even wipe?"

"Mr. Rios, you can come in now. The doctor will see you."