My Lightsaber Is Bigger Than Yours

7/17/2005

So the day was a another hell hot fireplace. Mur and I decided to take Mr. Kobi to see his favorite stinky yellow gap-toothed dog groomer, so he could get a manicure. Of course as I pulled him out of the car on his leash, he smelled the area, lifted his leg with grace, and shot his squirt gun on some ivy bush. Then as we started to head for the door, his tail shook with excitement, we entered. Then the look of two victims on the table, tied up, looked towards us. I laughed inside for a second as the two victims were merely getting a haircut. "Hi , we'd like to get his nails grinded," M said. So she took him in and closed the glass door. As we sat down, I could see Kobi's body against the door. Sure enough, ears down, the fast beating chest, and his eyes big and sad with terror. He did a few body slams against the glass door, making her earn the big dog groomer money.

After they were done, he came out with excitement. "Here Kobi a new rawhide for you," M said. He took it in his mouth and threw it across the store as if he was trying to let the groomer know that I'll "ruff, ruff," vandalize this store, yellow-toothed lady.

Then we decided to go to the Berkeley Marina's "Sea Breeze Deli", sat outside, and got some sandwiches. M ate the yummy catfish sandwich, I ate the yummy crab sandwich, and Kobi, well he just stayed nervous about the loud car traffic near the intersection. After feeling full, I suggested we go to Ceasar Chavez Park down the road. M quickly went back into the market to get some fresh cherries for dessert.

We arrived at the park, and M brought her new camera to test out. If you're not familiar with the Berkeley Marina area, there are great views of the City, all three bridges, plenty of boats, and the Berkeley/Oakland hills.

But the best part was all the kites in the sky.

We strolled on the trails and fresh green grass over to the rocky shores. Kobi fell in love here. I think he made some new friends! The area is full of little cute gophers. They ran across the trails to rocks and bushes and popped up out of the holes, avoiding Kobi.

They also have a huge area for the dogs to run around off leash. I think sooner or later we have to have a bbq here.

Headed home, we went by Costco. After having a full day, having dinner and relaxing, we decided to watch this chick film M rented. It was all good with me since I wanted to go downstairs where it's the cooler part of the house, and lay on my back with my legs up. The movie was titled "Closer." It actually wasn't that bad.

Let's see, then it must of been around 12:30 at night when the movie ended. So I turned the last part of SNL on. M was laying on the couch, Kobi and I on the floor, with the lights out. All of the sudden, "BOOM, UHRMM!" We all looked at each other with a frightened startled look. Almost simultaneously, we both whispered, "What was that?" It was as if someone was in the house, upstairs in the piano room, and had tripped over some furniture.

Shit, I was thinking, here I am still with an injured back and I've got to protect home. I looked at Kobi, he sat up and was looking up at the doorway by the stairs. I got up, dialed 911, and handed the phone to M and walked her to the computer room by the back door. "Shhh," I whispered, "don't talk too loud."

Hearing the bizarre sound again, I decided to take my ass upstairs empty-handed. Kobi led the way, barked and ran up with me right behind him in the dark. Quickly I grabbed my wooden cane I left by the top stair and hit a light on. Kobi barked and stopped by the piano room steps. I had the cane up in a batter's stance, ready with anger. I hit more lights on and peeped down the hall and kitchen, checking the deck door. I thought, if someone wasn't in here they might be outside.

I opened the front door ready to Fuck somebody up. I saw a person in the dark moving around along the side of the driveway. Kobi came out and barked once, getting the attention of the shadowy figure. Ahhh, shit! It's the "OG" gangster mom neighbor. "Margie is that you?" The shadow turned and looked, "yeah, who is that?" I replied "Wuz-up? I came out here thinking there was someone in the house or breaking in. We were downstairs and heard some noises. M called the police." Sure enough the cops came around the hill with all his lights off. Margie-"Nahhh, I was over here moving some tires on the side of my house and one of them rolled down the hill under your deck." Fucking laughing inside with relief, I yelled to M to cancel the call. As the patrol car got the message, he turned down the hill and left.

I went back in the house with adrenaline pumping and both of us laughing. "Okay, time to go to bed." We turned off all the lights and locked up. M set the house alarm and we all laid down on the bed. M and Kobi fell asleep. I couldn't sleep yet with all the adrenaline still flowing threw my body. After a couple of hours, I finally fell asleep with the laptop on my chest.

I woke up this morning, rolled over and with one eye I squinted open. Where's M? I don't hear her in the house. And then "swoosh" the sound of the toilet flushed. Around the corner comes M stumbling slowly,"Babe my tummy hurts." All I could think about is I love my Drama Queen!